Thursday, July 16, 2009

Today.....now.....this moment!




Today...now...this moment. I've promised myself that is what I'm going to focus on. Not what I should have done, not what I could do, but instead what I am going to do.

Have realised that I've been beating myself up because I've been feeling so confused about where my life is going and what I want to do. I've been feeling down because things don't seem to be going 'right' for me. But then reflecting...wondering if in fact I've really been trying much...or at all.

Yes eating is not great.....so start tracking. Throw what I can't say 'no' to in the bin.

Yes exercise is non existent....make an effort to do things more around the house and swap gym memberships / places.

Yes work is hard....I feel lost, confused...but I'm going to sit with that a bit longer and see where it goes. I can only keep trying to find work that I'm truly 'passionate' about.

From now on the "You can't do anything right" or the "No, that's too hard" or "I'm too tired" is not going to be part of my vocabulary anymore. Perhaps people think I'm feeling sorry for myself, perhaps people think I'm focusing too much on the "past".....well I might be....I probably am. It's easy when you feel 'down' to look at things as being 'black and white' and not really see the grey.

To tell you the truth I'm starting to realise that I'm missing out on too much. I don't want to miss out anymore not living my life to the fullest. I want to really start 'living'. It's only up to me. My attitude might change, I might still feel 'down' or 'unmotivated', but I'm going to come back to this post and remind myself that the only person that can really help me is ME!

I can do this! I will do this! Just you watch me.

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1 comment:

  1. KathiejJuly 16, 2009 at 10:48 PM

    Yay Danni... What a positve post....you should print it out and read it a couple of times a day
    You can do this

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This is all new to me......

This is all indeed new to me! The blog stuff I mean. I've been wanting to do this for a while and as you can see I thought what the heck, I'm just going to do it! A working progress you might say? I think so. But with time you can only improve? Don't they say that with everything?

I'm not sure I feel that way about weight loss at the moment. I've hit my 1 year journey marker, yet I look at what I have achieved and start to question myself....is '27 kgs' something really to gloat about? To be proud of? Thats half a kilo a week, which fits in perfectly with what ww recommend...yet its simply not good enough for me!

'Why?' you ask? I think comparing myself to everyone else and what they have achieved has led me to doubting myself and feeling pretty crappy about how far I have come. I wanted to be so badly one of those people that say "Look at me, look at what I've achieved!". I try...but those words simply fade into the "Look at what? Big deal 27 kgs!". I'm a bit of a critic. Actually I'm a severe critic....of myself that is. Hence, why I've got myself into this situation in the first place.

So at the moment with all of lifes curve balls that are thrown my way, I simply have one motto "One day at a time!".....oh and perhaps one more "When your mind says give up, hope whispers one more try". This is what I'm living by at the moment and I must say with all the great support I'm getting from some wonderful fantastic people, hope is whispering a lot more to me!

I'll keep you updated on how things are going....in the meantime I'll keep plodding along and know that "I CAN DO THIS!".