Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Path of destruction!




Wasn't a great night tonight. Went shopping and found an hour later I had consumed a 100 gram packet of chips, 6 mini mud muffins, 3 teddy bear biscuits and nearly a whole 1.25 litre bottle of diet coke.

WHY??? Why you ask? I have been suffering from terrible headaches and fatigue that I've never experienced before. To the point of having 10-12 hour sleeps and then after being up and hour or two feeling like I need to lie down again. It has been terrible. After discussion with a friend (a nurse also), it was thought that I had really serious withdrawal symptoms because I'd gone from 1-2 litres of diet coke to absolutely zip! My friend suggested perhaps cutting down a bit slower. So I thought, what the heck, I'll go get some diet coke and get rid of these headaches once and for all.

Thing is.....realised that I've just had a major binge and my body certainly is not thanking me for it. Today I weighed in at 130.4 kgs. Which means I've put on 7kgs. So something is going wrong with my eating. I wondered whether my binge tonight was self sabotage of 'Oh well, I've put on weight, what the heck!'.

Think I'll have to get back to ww meetings. I'm going to get back to basics. I have not had chips and 'mud cake' in so long that perhaps I was feeling deprived, maybe that is why I binged......however there is no excuse. The damage is down now. I have to live with it, move on and get back to getting into shape.

A new day, a new beginning.

2 comments:

  1. Danni, I really know where you are coming from. If you can afford it, go back to meetings. I couldn't do it on my own.

    I agree about the diet coke. Cut back, don't cut it out completely.

    I really hope you can get back on track mate. It is so worth it. You know I'm here when ever you need a chat. Always on fb at night.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Danni

    Have given you a blog award, please come and collect it from my site

    ReplyDelete

This is all new to me......

This is all indeed new to me! The blog stuff I mean. I've been wanting to do this for a while and as you can see I thought what the heck, I'm just going to do it! A working progress you might say? I think so. But with time you can only improve? Don't they say that with everything?

I'm not sure I feel that way about weight loss at the moment. I've hit my 1 year journey marker, yet I look at what I have achieved and start to question myself....is '27 kgs' something really to gloat about? To be proud of? Thats half a kilo a week, which fits in perfectly with what ww recommend...yet its simply not good enough for me!

'Why?' you ask? I think comparing myself to everyone else and what they have achieved has led me to doubting myself and feeling pretty crappy about how far I have come. I wanted to be so badly one of those people that say "Look at me, look at what I've achieved!". I try...but those words simply fade into the "Look at what? Big deal 27 kgs!". I'm a bit of a critic. Actually I'm a severe critic....of myself that is. Hence, why I've got myself into this situation in the first place.

So at the moment with all of lifes curve balls that are thrown my way, I simply have one motto "One day at a time!".....oh and perhaps one more "When your mind says give up, hope whispers one more try". This is what I'm living by at the moment and I must say with all the great support I'm getting from some wonderful fantastic people, hope is whispering a lot more to me!

I'll keep you updated on how things are going....in the meantime I'll keep plodding along and know that "I CAN DO THIS!".