Life is about falling, living is about getting back up!

So the story goes........sounds so simple, yet sometimes feels like its impossible. The getting back up bit I mean. After falling it's so hard to bloody get up, don't you think? Yet sometimes people, moments, memories and maybe even a little magic always seems to prop you up on your bum, ready to give you that push in the back to guide you back up.

This is what has got me through so far, especially over the last week and few days. I've had food poisoning; yes it feels yuk! Yes I thought it would never end! Yes...I even wanted to do all those things that I hadn't felt motivated to do before....exercise, track. And yet here I am tracking although I'm barely eating and looking forward to going for a walk. Unbelievable how we want the things when we really can't have them.

I weighed in yesterday and lost 3.4kgs. I was relieved yet felt so crook I didn't really care. However, I think this is the head start I needed. Perhaps this is the hand in my back helping me off my bum. This journey does not seem so unrealistic at the moment. Actually it feels more realistic than ever. I've learnt so much about myself over the last few days. I've had some more thinking time and by keeping in touch with some brilliant and fantastic people (my magic and inspiration), I've been able to get in touch a little more with who I am or at least who I want to be.

I don't want to give up when things are getting too hard! I don't want to believe that this journey will never be the success! I don't want to think that I'll never know deep down who I really am! I don't want to believe that I'll never be happy. I DON'T WANT TO ANYMORE!!!

Will not believing all this be difficult....my word. It will be a challenge everyday. But as I am exposed more to the wonderful things this world does have to offer, I realise that not everything about my life is gloom and doom. I'm grateful for the people I have as support and don't think I could ever express to them how much they really are helping me. They might not think so, but please...know so! They are starting to open my eyes and open my world up and even challenge me in many ways. They ask me questions I would never have been able to ask myself like why on earth don't you think you are beautiful? Why don't you tell yourself that everyday?

WHY??? I don't know. But at the moment I'm happy to sit with the 'why?' a bit longer, because before it was "As if!" "Who cares!" Now....it's why! I think I like 'Why' now. I never use to. But I'm starting to set a place at the dinner table for 'why' now. 'Why' isn't so much about asking the question, but its about opening up opportunites and paths that I thought never existed. It's about keeping those eyes of mine open.

So.....I feel like I'm back on track. It's going to be hard, it's going to be challenging, it's going to be exhausting.........but why shouldn't it be!