Friday, May 1, 2009

So much for exercise!!!




I've registered for the Mother's Day Classic....and yes I promised myself that by the time next week came I would be able to do this 4km walk with no problem in the world....why? Because I was going to 'train' for it. Get myself back to the exercise and in a better fitness situation than I am now.

So how much exercise have I done? Absolutely none! Well not officially 'none', but 'none' according to my gym swipe card. I've got huge issues with going to the gym......yet I don't know what they are. Something is causing me to procrastinate about going. Yes getting there is the hardest part, but I feel so exhausted that I just can't really seem to move out the front door and if I do it is because I have to do something else (other than exercise).

Things are not obviously going the way I would like them to go. Tonight I had a binge episode at my sisters house. 3 small packet of chips (6 points) and several small easter eggs later I felt sick and wondered why on earth I had this 'food' when I didn't need it. I wasn't hungry. I'd had a nutritious dinner, yet was not strong enough to say 'no' to the chips and chocolate. Not sure if being out of control is due to TTOM, craving lots of sweet things and eating is a bit out of control. This is why I don't have these foods at my house. If I did, I'm sure I'd be out of control. On top of all this am considering giving up gym membership and even stopping ww meetings. Why? Not sure if my head is making up any excuse not to be accountable. Having thoughts like "Oh well, nothing has changed in a few months and you are weighing in and not getting results and not using the gym, so might as well give it all up". Am I going to....not yet! I know my mind would win if I gave into it. My body certainly would be in a lot worse shape. So told my mind to give me a break for a 'month' and I'll re-evaluate it mid May.

Last few days have been fairly positive (work). So just keep telling myself that regardless of my high expectations and wanting everything in my life to go perfectly at once.....IT IS UNREALISTIC!

In the meantime will focus on keeping tracking, trying to get some exercise in and persevering with getting to ww meetings.

I'll keep you posted. Need to do something before this Mother's Day Classic, otherwise fearful I won't even go! And what would the point of that be? The only person I'd fail is ME! Not giving up just yet!

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4 comments:

  1. TinaMay 1, 2009 at 7:15 AM

    Start slowly Danni. When I started walking, I walked to pick the kids up 3 times a week. 15 minutes there and 15 minutes back. Now I am walking 5 kms in an hour without a problem.

    I can so relate to the binges. I am guilty of being off track this month but after seeing that I have only lost 400g for the whole of April, I have given myself a good talking to and got back on track TODAY!!!

    We can do this together mate.

    ReplyDelete
  2. KathiejMay 1, 2009 at 5:57 PM

    Interesting how none of this was in your email..tsk tsk

    Love ya ...you can do it
    email me

    xx

    ReplyDelete
  3. samanthaMay 2, 2009 at 1:21 AM

    Hey Danni
    I'm with tina on this one, start small and dont put so much pressure on yourself, I also like tina only lost 1.1kg for the month of april and we chatted about where we think we went wrong and what we can do about it so this month I've set myself a goal! I have five weeks till I go to Adelaide so have set myself a goal of 5kg in five weeks or as close to it!!LOL!!I know I can do it and I know you can do it too. We are all here to support and get each other through these tough times, so don't let that mind of yours win!! put the gym on hold for a month just get out and walk for half an hour every day to start, and if you dont feel comfortable about the classic don't do it! at least if you don't do it you have made a charitable donation! Be happy and take that pressure off yourself.

    Cheers
    Sam H

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnonymousMay 2, 2009 at 4:42 AM

    Danni

    What can I say??? ditto as KJ

    Mothers day classic is just a simple walk in the morning
    - you can do it, i can do it, Nat is doing it

    Trish

    ReplyDelete

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This is all new to me......

This is all indeed new to me! The blog stuff I mean. I've been wanting to do this for a while and as you can see I thought what the heck, I'm just going to do it! A working progress you might say? I think so. But with time you can only improve? Don't they say that with everything?

I'm not sure I feel that way about weight loss at the moment. I've hit my 1 year journey marker, yet I look at what I have achieved and start to question myself....is '27 kgs' something really to gloat about? To be proud of? Thats half a kilo a week, which fits in perfectly with what ww recommend...yet its simply not good enough for me!

'Why?' you ask? I think comparing myself to everyone else and what they have achieved has led me to doubting myself and feeling pretty crappy about how far I have come. I wanted to be so badly one of those people that say "Look at me, look at what I've achieved!". I try...but those words simply fade into the "Look at what? Big deal 27 kgs!". I'm a bit of a critic. Actually I'm a severe critic....of myself that is. Hence, why I've got myself into this situation in the first place.

So at the moment with all of lifes curve balls that are thrown my way, I simply have one motto "One day at a time!".....oh and perhaps one more "When your mind says give up, hope whispers one more try". This is what I'm living by at the moment and I must say with all the great support I'm getting from some wonderful fantastic people, hope is whispering a lot more to me!

I'll keep you updated on how things are going....in the meantime I'll keep plodding along and know that "I CAN DO THIS!".