Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Where have I been?




Where have I been???

Busy....so it seems.

It's been a while since I've blogged and I feel like it's the time now that I really need to. Lots of different emotions going on. I feel like I'm on a rollercoaster ride, one minute I'm on a high, the next I feel like I've hit rock bottom. But.....I'm still hanging on tight and not letting go and taking the good with the bad.

The Good:

1. I got a new job starting mid September on a new Unit at the hospital I work at.
2. I'm doing a short course to help discover my spirituality a bit more and enjoying meeting new people and learning more about the important people in my life.
3. I joined Fernwood.........back to exercisinga and being accountable.
4. My beautiful best friend is pregnant.
5. I'm going to the Gold Coast (almost definitely) in September.
6. I bought a Wii.
7. I got a blog award from my dear friend Trish.

The not so Good:

1. My sister refused the Pink ticket I gave her for her birthday and gave me back the ipod I also bought her. I was shattered. I didn't end up going to Pink, but was able to get my money back on the tickets and wait to see if she changes her mind about the ipod (ticket money helped pay for my wii).
2. I'm not very motivated in going to Fernwood....however, I know it's only me that can change this.
3. I've put on a total of 8 kgs......but I'm going to work my bootie off to get to under 100 kgs.
4. My beautiful friend who is pregnant is going to live in New Zealand with her husband.....I feel loss....but so much pride and love as well.

Otherwise just been busy with everything else that is going on. Working a little bit more and trying to focus on planning my food and my exercise. However even though I write my 'exercise times' in my diary, can't seem to stick to them. Anyone have any tips? Not sure why I struggle with this so much.

I also feel honoured to receive a blog award. So going to nominate some people who have inspired me, motivated me, been patient, caring, kind and understanding. Thank you.

(not sure how to link the names to blogs, but will try later).

Trish - for being understanding, patient and caring. I'd be lost without your words of encouragement and motivation. Thank you.

Kathie- for being caring, kind, loving and understanding. And for answering any questions I fire at you with honesty and love. Thank you.

Nat - for your inspirational blog and for saying something that may seem brief and simple, but has an everlasting heartfelt affect on me. Thank you

Kellie- for inspiring me and for encouraging me and most of all for understanding me. For not giving up on me. Thank you.

Jo - for being so down to earth, fun and easy going, but at the same time so caring. Thank you

Shazz - for being interested in how I'm going and for supporting me with the emails you send me. They mean a lot. Thank you.

Tina - for being so kind and understanding and for being so heartfelt and compassionate in my times of difficulty. Thank you

Sam - for being supportive and encouraging and popping up (by email or facebook) at exactly the right time when I need encouragement. Thank you

Sue - for being interested in what is going on with me, but for being understanding and although we don't have a lot of contact, you certainly put a smile on my face when I read your emails. Thank you.

You all inspire me and help keep me going. You all touch my heart in a different but beautiful way. Thank you.

This is all new to me......

This is all indeed new to me! The blog stuff I mean. I've been wanting to do this for a while and as you can see I thought what the heck, I'm just going to do it! A working progress you might say? I think so. But with time you can only improve? Don't they say that with everything?

I'm not sure I feel that way about weight loss at the moment. I've hit my 1 year journey marker, yet I look at what I have achieved and start to question myself....is '27 kgs' something really to gloat about? To be proud of? Thats half a kilo a week, which fits in perfectly with what ww recommend...yet its simply not good enough for me!

'Why?' you ask? I think comparing myself to everyone else and what they have achieved has led me to doubting myself and feeling pretty crappy about how far I have come. I wanted to be so badly one of those people that say "Look at me, look at what I've achieved!". I try...but those words simply fade into the "Look at what? Big deal 27 kgs!". I'm a bit of a critic. Actually I'm a severe critic....of myself that is. Hence, why I've got myself into this situation in the first place.

So at the moment with all of lifes curve balls that are thrown my way, I simply have one motto "One day at a time!".....oh and perhaps one more "When your mind says give up, hope whispers one more try". This is what I'm living by at the moment and I must say with all the great support I'm getting from some wonderful fantastic people, hope is whispering a lot more to me!

I'll keep you updated on how things are going....in the meantime I'll keep plodding along and know that "I CAN DO THIS!".